Elmer: Happy New Year!

It's Chinese New Year.  It's supposed to be the year of the dragon.  That's some kind of big lizard. I think it should be the Year of the Elmer Cat.  In fact, all years should be the Year of the Elmer Cat.

Have I mentioned my name is Elmer?

The MomPerson says she wanted to call me Arthur like King Arthur  but that I'm really more of an Elmer and that looks can be deceiving.

I don't know what that means.

She didn't use my whole name, though, which is Elmer-Leave-Bonnie-Alone, but the MomPerson says that doesn't matter because I never answer to anything anyway, except for the pop of a catfood can. Or the sound of a door opening.  I'm big enough that occasionally I can push my way out while she's trying to close the door-- she says I'm like a little fuzzy mac truck.

I don't know what that means.

For some reason, MomPerson doesn't like for me to be outside in the front. She lets me out back, but there's a fence there.  The fence doesn't seem to stop my sister Flora or Freddie, but I don't know how they manage to get out.  MomPerson says she'd like to keep it that way.  I see that front porch cat BeeGee out there, and that orange cat JJ and that big orange cat who looks like Melon but all orange and fluffy out there, and I see birds, and. . . . I forgot what I was saying.  Oh, the MomPerson won't let ME out front.  Something about "doesn't have the sense God gave lint."

I don't know what that means.

I'm a big help around the house.   I keep all the food bowls cleaned out and help keep the bathroom floor clean by turning over the water bowls.  The MomPerson isn't big on mopping and this encourages her. She has to get that water up somehow!  I think I was grown before I saw her do that, and I thought it was some new game.  She said some interesting words when I tried to catch the mop. Then she allowed that I was a great excuse NOT to mop and cheered up immediately.  Hence the water bowls.  I actually like to pick up water in my paw and lick it up from there.

Anyway, here I am being a big help as usual.  The MomPerson wants to stick bottles on a post so I'm working on emptying them for her.  *hic*

"A bit dry for my taste.  And citrus. Grass would be better. "

"These are sweet, light, fruity. Very nice for you, but I'd like something with a fresh catnip nose, perhaps with undertones of chicken and a hint of salmon."